Guide to Hangover Cures

Six edible hangover cures for drinkers not quite ready for the 12 steps.

By Tim McGinnis - Philadelphia Weekly

Your eyelids peel away from what feels like sockets lined with sandpaper to reveal a spider web of red capillaries. There’s crust caking the corners of your mouth, your pillow, your hair and the pair of jeans you’ve unceremoniously tossed in a crumpled heap on your bedroom floor. As you drag your body Night-of-the-Living-Dead -style toward the sink for a giant glass of water, your head painfully thumps in unison with each beat of your heart and your stomach feels like a family of gerbils have set up shop in your innards—exercise wheel and all. While visions of last night’s beers, shots and Toasted Almond—it seemed like a good idea at the time—dance excruciatingly in your bleary head, you realize you’ve done it again. You’re hungover and you need a fix. Let this list be your go-to guide when you need to get through the worst of it. And try to look on the bright side: You didn’t bring home a fugly … this time.


Menudo

No, not the Puerto Rican boy band that launched the careers of no-talent assclowns like Ricky Martin. We’re talking about the spicy Mexican soup made with honeycomb tripe (cow stomach), a vinegar-spiked beef stock and a bright red, almost-neon chile paste. Add chopped onion, lime wedges and cilantro to adjust the flavor to your liking and dip the house-made corn tortillas into the soothing broth. The traditional thought behind this hangover cure is that it makes you sweat, releasing last night’s toxins from your system and into the air for the rest of us to smell.


PW Recommends: La Lupe, 1201 S. Ninth St. 215.551.9920


Pho

This staple in Vietnam made with a star anise, ginger and cinnamon-infused beef broth and rice noodles is usually eaten for breakfast, but whatever time you regain consciousness after a night of hard drinking will do just fine. At Pho 75 they’re all about the beef. Try a mix-and-match combination of flank steak, fatty brisket, soft tendon, beef tripe or meatballs, or have them toss all of them into this swimming pool-sized bowl of soup. The beefy broth is comforting and effective at fighting the Irish flu, but we think it’s the plate of add-ons that do the most good against a hangover. Jalapeño’s capsaicin is a known brain pain inhibitor, the essential oils in Thai basil calm the stomach and the nerves, and lime wedges are used to fight everything from fatigue to kidney toxins to scurvy.

PW Recommends: Pho 75, 1122 Washington Ave. 215.271.5866


Coffee + Recovery Shake

The Recovery Shakes at Mugshots are meant to replenish the electrolytes you’ve shed during a long, hard workout, but if you need to recover from a long, hard night with your two best friends Jack and Ginger, it’ll set you straight. Try one made with acai berry spiked with the beneficial bacteria spirulina; both aid in cell reproduction so you just might regenerate some of those brain cells you obliterated last night. If all else fails, go with the caffeine cocktail Mugshot, a cup of coffee with a shot of espresso.

PW Recommends: Mugshots, 2100 Fairmount Ave. 267.514.7145. 
mugshotscoffeehouse.com



Pickle Juice

The Russians believe the only way to get over a hangover is to drink the juice of a pickle, but then again they also thought that invading Afghanistan was a good idea. If you’re going to go the Ruskie route, why not drink the juice of a really good pickle? AJ Pickle Patch in the Reading Terminal Market pickles everything from green tomatoes to cucumbers to beets. The theory is that the magnesium and potassium in the pickle will help with headaches and fatigue. We think when you’re hungover and dehydrated, you just crave salt.


PW Recommends: AJ Pickle Patch, 12th and Arch sts. readingterminalmarket.org


Hae Jang Guk

If you’ve ever hung out with a bunch of Koreans you know one thing they love is drinking. We’re talking Ted Kennedy before Chappaquiddick drinking. Shane MacGowan with a handful of fifties drinking. Ernest Hemingway holed up in a Spanish hotel drinking. Sure, it’s a 
stereotype, but in our experience, it’s one based in truth. Koreans also have the perfect cure for hangovers: Hae Jang Guk, translated to stomach relief soup or “hangover soup,” made with digestion aids like napa cabbage, mung bean sprouts, scallion as well as odd cuts of beef and a beefy Korean miso broth (both boosting protein levels and providing the energy for another round). This is sure to knock last night’s booze right out of you.


PW Recommends: Pastoral Korean Restaurant, 205 S. 13th St. 215.545.8511



Bloody Mary

Hair of the dog is an obvious choice, but it’s the only surefire solution to your alcohol ailments. While your body is being numbed by the vodka-induced dopamine surge, the tomato juice will actually do some good. Lycopene helps your blood flow and clears your head. Potassium brings you out of the general state of malaise brought on by uber-consumption, and vitamin C boosts your immune system and kills any viruses you picked up while “accidentally” kissing that stranger the night before.


PW Recommends: Royal Tavern, 937 E. Passyunk Ave. 215.389.6694. royaltavern.com


* Article Credit: Philadelphia Weekly
** Photo Credit: Funny Photo

When in Philly, talk like Philly!

Phrase Book:

700 Level: Cheap seats in the upper-most rows of the now defunct Veterans Stadium, razed in 2004. Describes rowdy, moronic, and/or drunken behavior.

Blue Route: Interstate 476, a highway in Philly’s southwestern suburbs.

Downa Shore: The New Jersey beaches, a favored get-away.

The EL: Market-Frankford elevated subway line, part of the SEPTA public transportation system.

Hoagie: A cheese and cold-cut sandwich on a crusty submarine-shaped roll, garnished with lettuce, tomatoes and vegetable oil. Onions, pickles and peppers, optional.

Iggles: The Philadelphia Eagles, the city’s professional football team.

The Linc: Lincoln Financial Field, home of the Eagles.

Main Line: Affluent, slightly hoity-toity western suburbs on Route 30, the former Pennsylvania Railroad Main Line.

Scrapple: Loaf made from everything but the oink of a pig, then sliced and fried.

Whiz Wit: A steak sandwich with Cheez Whiz and onions.

Yo: Hello, when spoken in a normal tone of voice. When shouted: Hey, you!

How to see Philly

Leanr how to navigate the City of Brotherly Love like a true local. It's never been easier. Or more walkable!

WALKABLE: Thanks to founder William Penn's smart and simple grid street design, the heart of the city is easy to navigate - even for a first-time visitor. In fact, Center City is often praised as the msot walkable of America's big cities. The Schuylkill and Delaware rivers border Center City's 25 blocks, and streets running east and west are named after trees while north and south streets are numbered.

FRIENDLY: Color-coded directional signs let you know what district you're in and point toward area attractions. Dressed in teal uniforms and equipped with maps, Center City District goodwill ambassadors are available to give directions and answer questions seven days a week.

DIVERSE: From Chinatown and University City to Washington Square West, Philadelphia's neighborhoods offer one-of-a-kind ethnic and cultural experiences.

How to Speak Philadelphian

How to talk like a Philadelphian by Stu Bykofsky

Stu is a columnist for the Philadelphia Daily News
which you would already know if you weren't from out of town.

A few tips from Stu's "Little Black Book"

Philadelphia, like many cities, has its own manner of speech -- how we tawk, if you will.

We gots our awn way aspeakin, and yuze can figger out wot weir sayen, by uzen Stu's pronunciation and translation guide to Philly's langwich:

•Ack A Mee: Acme, a local supermarket.
•Addytood: Attitude.
•Be Yoo Dee Full: Beautiful.
•Bin Dare: I've been there.
•Samson Shtreet: Sansom Street.
•Senner Siddy: Center City.
•Dah Iggles: Philadelphia Eagles.
•Dah Fills: Philadelphia Phillies.
•Dah Fliers: Philadelphia Flyers.
•Dah Semi Sixes: Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers.
•Downashore: The beach (as found along the New Jersey shore).
•Fluffya: Philadelphia.
•Goddago: I have to go.
•Goes: Use in place of "said," as in "He goes, `I'm not feelin' so good.'"
•Guh Head: Yes, you may do that.
•Langwich: Language.
•Jeet Yet?: Have you eaten yet?
•Jeez Take: Cheesesteak.
•King a Presha: King of Prussia.
•Mondee, Twosdee, Whensdee, Thirsty, Frydee, Saradee, Sunny: Days of the week.
•Niceta Meechas: Nice to meet you.
•Nint Shtreet: Ninth Street.
•Sammich: Sandwich.
•Scrapple: Local delicacy made from ground pork products.
•Scappleinecks: Scrapple and eggs.
•Siddy Haw: City Hall.
•Skeeve: Hatred/disgust. (Example: "I skeeve raw scrapple.")
•Skowne On?: What's going on?
•Sow Fluffya: South Philadelphia.
•Sow Shtreet: South Street.
•Trawley: Trolley.
•Wah?: Excuse me, what did you say?
•Weubin?: Where have you been?
•Whachoolookinat?: What are you looking at? (Often a challenge.)
•Yo: Either "hello" or "hey." (Should be used like expensive cologne. Sparingly.)
•Yo Supp. Hello, what is going on?
•Yunner Stan?: Do you understand?
•Yuze (youze, yiz): You people.

"How to order a Philly Cheesesteak"

If you're a local, you know the drill.

If you're an out-of-towner, please don't compare our cheesesteaks to the ones sold at subway.

There are many places to choose from but the best known and most publicized places are Pat's and Geno's Steaks in South Philly. Both are located across the street from each other on 9th Street and Passyunk Avenue.

Enough said, let's order a steak...

Step 1
Specify if you want your steak with (wit) or without (wit-out) onions.
(If you're a not a rookie this should come naturally)
Step 2
Specify Plain - Cheese Whiz - Provolone - American Cheese or a Pizza Steak.
Step 3
Have your money ready. (Do all of your borrowing in line)
Step 4
Practice all of the above while waiting in line.
(If you made a mistake, don't panic, just go to the back of the line and start over)

If you still need help, here's a photo